Hi. it is great to meet this site. i found many useful things.
Since I was a kid I have low energy and I have been very shy guy. I always had problems with my surrounding at school and at neighbourhood. I was a good student but socially i was feeling weak, alone and even very ugly.

I started masterbation when I was 12 and kept on doing it till now even most of the time feeling bad because of what I am doing.

I never had a long term relationship with any girl except the ones i found on internet and living in different countries.

After 22 yrs old travelling abroad my confidence a little bit boosted I am better with girls. I can get them much easier etc. but I lost my feeling that I can be with a girl and live stable life. I always thought I am sexually weak and have a small pack.

I had depression and social phobia therapy for 4 years and used antidepressants meanwhile. I wasn’t even able to enter a restaurant or a bar without a fear till i am 22 yrs old.

I know this also have some relations with excessive masterbation. Or masterbation is a result of my general mood and character.

I enjoy extreme kind of sex relations. I like to do it in weird places and in weird ways.

I just want to power myself up, be able to quit masterbation and live much more proper than the way I lived all my life. But this seems so hard as i tried it many times in my life.

Can u give me some recommendations please about this subject?

ANSWER
It seems that you have some problems. I can’t say that all of this is due to masturbation but it is supporting the condition nevertheless.

Excessive masturbation can turn a guy into a complete mess. Antidepressants won’t help, they will deepen your problems even further I recommend you look Here.

The extreme sex you enjoy is through the lack of proper dopamine levels.

It is hard to quit masturbation if you have excessive excitatory and inflammatory nts binded to your prostate, brain, and penis. The masturbation will just produce more masturbation in a vicious cycle.

You have to completely change your neuroplasticity on the sympathetic nervous function, which overshoots stress hormones even in the slightest stress situations.

Your nervous and endocrine systems are not working properly enough, you seem to have blown your serotonin-GABA nervous modulation on your inflammatory and stress hormones release (genetically predisposition is also a possibility), which makes you a anxious and promotes additional problems.

There some things that will help you out:
1.Quit masturbation and discontinue sexual activities for 1 to 3 months.
2.Multi-Alpha, 5HTP-Nettle, GRB6-GABA, Alpha-Amino, Ultra-Purified-FishOil, and testicle temperature regulation will help your body restore your nervous and endocrine proper functions, nervous modulation on your inflammatory hormones release, dopamine-norepinephrine-epinephrine conversion, increase androgens, and boost your Prostaglandins E1 E3 and Nitric Oxide for healing and rejuvenation.

Wish you a fast recovery!