I admit I have read much of the cases and articles about masturbation addiction and overmasturbation. I have a couple of questions to ask you and I will share my story as I believe it will be of some help to other people… especially if you answer.
I will start with the somewhat necessary background. I am 27 years old male and I consider myself to be a recovering masturbation addict. I consider masturbation to be in the root of the whole series of issues in my life to this moment.
When I was 17 years younger or so, people considered me a very gifted child. Some even mentioned the possibility of me being a genius. I was extremely creative (used to build a lot of things as well), actively reading, drawing beautiful pictures, and so on.
It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to state that it all almost instantaneously ended when I discovered my parents hidden stash of porn. I started watching the movies and the impact was nothing more of devastating. I have read about sex in encyclopedias but seeing it live was a whole different thing… I was grossed out initially but then got hooked and couldn’t stop thinking about it.
The images I saw became my obsession. Not long after I started masturbating actively. Probably 5 times a day or more… there were cases I would reach 20 plus and I’m not kidding. The worst of it all was that I discovered it way too young and achieved all this pleasure without the need of any meaningful relationships with females. All I needed was to touch myself.
My mental abilities, drive and performance slowly began to suffer and I went from being the best of the entire school to one of the worst. I masturbated instead of studying yes… but there was more to it… I just lost much of my drive and ability to concentrate and remember.
A bit later when I got access to internet porn it became even worse with that endless free and new sexual acts I could observe. Since 20 or so I started living even more isolated and even left high school. I would still support myself from home and some freelance programming. Masturbation had become so mechanical by then that I would even type on the keyboard with one hand and masturbate with the other.
I then noticed that when I would encounter a problem or something that requires extensive thought I would just feel tense and in need of masturbation. I would usually then masturbate right away just like a reflex.
My appearance suffered as well, I still look like I’m 17 or something in terms of muscle mass and height. I seriously think masturbation impaired my growth. I feel underdeveloped in every sense. I’m 27 and still feel like teenager even mentally. My hair suffered at my early 20-ties and got progressively worse and I notice it get even worse after each masturbation session.
Funnily enough that continued for so long and I never actually admitted that it was a problem up until recently. What made me realize my problem was a surgery that took place to remove my foreskin. I had phimosis so it had to be removed. After the operation I had bandages all over and I couldn’t masturbate for 2 or 3 weeks. The first day I was feeling a bit uneasy, the second day more so, the third I was feeling even more terrible and in a desperate need of masturbation, by the fifth day I realized that I was suffering from withdrawal. Plan and simple! I was no different than a coke junky needing a fix. Hell I even suffered from sweating, insomnia and fever at one point.
I searched the web for answers and found much information confirming my suspicions. I was able to reduce masturbation from 3-4 times per day to once per 2 days but I’m afraid it’s still not enough. I’m going for once per week but it’s really hard to do it.
I hope I have been extensive enough as I now have a couple of questions to ask you.
– Do you think that my physical appearance and undergrowth has something to do with masturbation?
– Do you believe that I may have ruined some of my organs like testicles and prostate?
– Can I do something to aid my brain issues and imbalances I mentioned? I would very much like to return to the bright kid I once was.
– Do you think I’ve got a good shot in reversing this? I know that 20 years of abuse is a long, long time to be reversed with a magic wand for a week or two.
– I hope what I wrote is not too long and thank you for your time reading it!
As you have guessed correctly, chronic over-masturbation produced substance abuse effects as in its nature is exactly that. It re-shaped your / endocrine / nervous systems / internal organs, such as: brain, liver, heart, lungs, prostate / affected your hypothalamic – pituitary – adrenal – testicular axis and your hormonal and nervous receptors.
You have activated excessive dopamine – norepinephrine – epinephrine conversions and burned out your proper serotonin – GABA nervous modulation on inflammatory response. Once the control is shaken, negative nervous plasticity is even faster to occur. You will know your Brain Reward System is seriously affected when you can’t control yourself properly and feel the withdrawal symptoms you mentioned.
Initially, and in properly functioning organisms, sexual arousal actually lowers cortisol and increases DHEA, testosterone, DHT, LH, and FHS. However, if the act is prolonged or repeated daily, inflammatory factors, increased cortisol, and decreased production of the already mentioned DHEA, testosterone, LH, and FHS is observed (with the exception of the DHT which remains high or even higher, with greater testosterone – DHT ratio conversions). Memory can then really suffer through numerous factors.
1) Norepinephrine – epinephrine action on the brain-blood barrier (BBB) allowing part of the excessive cortisol into the brain, leading to a destruction of acetylcholine nervous systems directly responsible for things like memory processing.
2) The rather obvious lowered and impaired levels of numerous other neurotransmitters, directly burned through the activities, as well as the lowered receptors for such.
“Do you think that my physical appearance and undergrowth has something to do with masturbation?”
Masturbation will affect the hormonal / neurotransmitter equilibrium of the whole organism and possibly impair your growth. Predominantly directly through lowered hGH, DHEA, Testosterone plus other androgens.
“Do you believe that I may have ruined some of my organs like testicles and prostate?”
Your testicles could be damaged through the partial hypothalamic – pituitary – testicular axis lock. The damage is usually not that severe and is very reversible. Other conditions, however, that can frequently be caused by overactive sexual activities during young age, such as varicocele, can severely damage them.
The prostate could be inflamed and slightly enlarged, you didn’t complain of any sharp pain so no severe abrasion is to be expected.
“Can I do something to aid my brain issues and imbalances I mentioned? I would very much like to return to the bright kid I once was.”
There is much that can be done, actually. As for the specific imbalances you mentioned, I’d suggest a combination of Multi-Alpha, Alpha-Amino, Balance-Essentials, 5HTP-Nettle, GRB6-GABA, and Ultra-Purified-FishOil to rejuvenate your neuro – endocrine function, stabilize acetylcholine, serotonin, dopamine, GABA levels, aid your weakened serotonin – GABA nervous control (directly affecting excessive dopamine – norepinephrine – epinephrine conversions) , increase prostaglandin E1 E3 and Nitric Oxide, alter responsive gene expressions that may have been activated during these last 20 years, and rewrite your negative neuroplasticity for healing.
Of course, basics like sexual activities discontinuation (1 to 3 moths), exercise, proper diet, massages, and negative ion exposure must be followed as consistently as possible.