Hello. I’m a 23 year old young man. I believe I’m bisexual with a bit stronger attraction to guys than to girls. I’ve always been a bit feminine but what I notice is quite confusing. When I don’t masturbate for more than 10 days and I did so solely for jelqing purposes at first I start to feel less emotional and more stable. With this effect come my altered attraction to girls instead of guys. To put it simple, if I don’t masturbate for a while I start to get more to the straight side. It’s all connected to my emotions as well, because I start lacking my previous emotions which I will recognize as feminine.

I strongly believe sexual orientation may be related to brain chemicals now but would like to hear your opinion. I don’t sure I want to be straight but I would really like the option to choose. If it’s dopamine or serotonin related all we have to do is figure it out and I may try to increase it with supplements. That way I will be able to masturbate and retain my “manly” state easier.

I’m anxiously awaiting any replies.

/brother_in_arms/

Comments

  1. Loyal

    Maybe because you weren’t horny for those 10 days so your mind is more clear and focused on other things beside sexual activities.

    Is the observation consistent enough I have to wonder?

    When you did masturbate you were definitely horny and sometimes you just want another person’s touch and so you would be willing to even try something with a male just to “get off”.

    I don’t really know how to answer you since I’m not expert but it’s hard to answer when your statement/questions are confusing in itself. Maybe that is why you are “bi-curious”. I would recommend seeing a therapist to help sort your thoughts out.

  2. caparica007

    It’s an unusual situation @brother_in_arms… Are you talking about masturbation only or the same things happens when you have sex? And sex with guys or girls?

  3. rand paul

    Christ I don’t know what to say.
    I suppose you should just go with your heart and experiment.

  4. jcairns82

    It would certainly be revolutionary if you prove a connection between those. However, it seems like you might be trying to explain away your bisexual curiosities. Are you comfortable with being bisexual or would you prefer to not have thoughts about men? If you’re 100% comfortable, then maybe explore what you want from each gender. If you’re simply envious of men and their lack of feminine emotions, then maybe you’re more attracted to the ideals that you’ve placed upon guys.

  5. emperor08

    “It seems like you might be trying to explain away your bisexual curiosities.”

    This sounds like the answer exactly. Do you know how many bisexual men there would be on the planet if we all turned a little gay after masturbating? Instead of looking to become something you’re not, try to become more comfortable with who you are. If you’re bisexual, try and accept that. Masturbation doesn’t tip the scales.

  6. lovemwaf

    You sound as though you like girls naturally but in your head you have some thoughts towards guys, but this only happens when you are sexually gratified. So the less sex you have, the more you clear you are about what you want.

  7. jcairns82

    Hey OP, you’re 23, so it’s perfectly normal to have some confusing thoughts are your sexual orientation. As others have mentioned, you may just be trying to think of a reason for having these sexual thoughts towards men. When not masturbating, do you find yourself lusting over guys? Or do you find yourself comparing yourself to them?

    Maybe you’re bisexual, but would prefer to have relationships with girls and just sexual encounters with guys.

  8. Jbepp

    I think OP is into something here!
    I’m bi too, and when I masturbate regularly I often feel more attracted to women. But when I stop masturbating I start to feel a lot more attracted to men.

  9. BrianWolfe

    I think there may be a chemical relationship between our psychological and emotional responses.. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you just that maybe your behavior is affected by how much sex is on your brain. Your brain chemistry determines a lot of how you feel and behave.

  10. zackeyman

    Don’t worry about it too much. Sexual desires shift and change all the time.

  11. Astdua

    That’s because your liking of males is a sexual need which is fueled by masturbation, which tamper with brain chemistry, dopamine, lust, etc. While the female liking side is more of a natural caring side.

    I’ve heard of plenty of story where guys tend to somehow get homosexual tendencies when fapping too much, which are then completely erased when on no-fap.

  12. Daimashin

    Simply put, you get more gay if you masturbate and more straight if you don’t. Simple, after you masturbated you no longer have the lust just like every men will feel after having sex and satisfied their lust but normally we won’t become gay. The less you masturbate the more hormones you generate for lust of girls. Being a bi is like a scale, remove some weight and you sway more to the other side. Depends on which side you want to be on more and you’ll find your answer.

  13. Marky

    I definitely have a similar relation to masturbation. When I have a real heightened arousal I want to have sex with girls and guys. When I do not have the heightened arousal sometimes I just want to be with a girl sometimes have a relationship with a guy. You just have to work out what is best for you. Just trial and error. I have sex with women and men I am happy this way. I enjoy both in different ways. Hope it becomes more clearer for you in the future. As they say practice makes perfect. :)

  14. tidalforce79

    Ejaculation does have an effect on emotions. Expelling seamen too frequently can actually cause depression and mood swings. Perhaps when you refrained from masturbating, your body balanced itself out, and no longer relied on the hormones you released during ejaculation to maintain emotions……..just a hypothesis.

  15. Kyoheix

    Try to figure out what kind of attraction do you feel for each sex.
    It is just sex? The playful part? Foreplay? Something emotional? You just want to get off? Get your sexual release and be over? You want to be in a relationship?
    Sort that out, maybe you have different needs and a different partner will fill each but not all.

    1. tidalforce79

      Good point. Some people have sexual fantasies about activities they would never really do. Masturbation is not always a good indicator of what you desire.

  16. Lostvalleyguy

    There could be lots of reasons for this. You might be right – and it might be something to do a study on. You might be perceiving this effect when it isn’t there. You might be correlating the wrong cause to the effect.

    Brain chemistry: There is certainly an effect of masturbation on the brain – it is why we do it.
    Gayer or not: I think that all of the gay haters out there would have picked up on this and tried to prove it were there a correlation. Rather than “you’ll go blind” it would become “you’ll go gay”
    Cause and effect: Are there any other factors that are different when you don’t masturbate that might have an impact. IE: you you work out instead generating more testosterone.

  17. DomDomDomDom

    I really cant say about the scientific part of this topic but it does seem realistic.

    Considering that when you overmasturbate you get a bit desensitized and need “kinkier” porn to get to the same leve lof satisfaction. Maybe in your cases the overmasturbation gets you to that level and when you stop masturbating your sexual preferences get “back to normal”.

    If you are unsatisfied with these urges then you shouldn’t masturbate!

  18. Markoali

    Maybe this is just an effect of your brain/subconsciousness playing tricks on you.

    Another option is that by not masturbating for a while your sexual desire grows. When it reaches a certain point, you don’t actually care if you’re attracted to girls or boys, your body just wants sex.
    But since you usually are more attracted to boys, it seems to you that girls are more attractive to you now.

    One way to solve this is to masturbate at least every 5 days :P

    Another way is to try and equalize the level of attraction to both genders, which would result in it not changing when you’re (not) masturbating :)

    Pay attention to the small details on both men and women and you might get turned on by both equally ;)

  19. BrianWolfe

    I don’t know, I personally have not experienced any kind of change in sexual preferences when I take part in less sexual activity than normal. It could be very individual-based. I wouldn’t worry about it as long as you feel it doesn’t give you anxieties or that you are losing sleep over it.

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